The world could be a boring place if we have been all the identical. Studying about cultural variations is fascinating and enjoyable. However generally it may be complicated, particularly when cultural variations come throughout as impolite. I not too long ago wrote an article on 13 issues vacationers do this get unusual seems to be from the French, however right here we’re not speaking about more odd issues. At this time, we’re specializing in American habits and norms that might come throughout rudely to French folks.
First, cultural habits usually are not inherently good or unhealthy. After we take a look at them via the lens of our personal tradition and life experiences, we will understand them to be impolite, well mannered, or good or unhealthy. However they’re simply variations and I feel it’s vital to not place judgment on them. We will be taught, adapt, and attempt to be a superb visitor after we’re in a foreign country and go from there.
8 American habits the French discover impolite:
1. Being superficially pleasant and never following via on plans to “go for a espresso someday.”
Whereas perhaps it’s not essentially the most socially endearing factor to do, People say issues like, “We’ll must go for a espresso quickly, okay??” after which by no means go on to make precise plans. This is usually a bit complicated to foreigners who take the pleasant suggestion actually. I’ve heard from many French folks through the years when this occurs and that they’re nonetheless ready for that buddy to name them as a result of they stated a couple of months in the past that “we should always get collectively someday!” It comes throughout tremendous rudely.
I feel most People imply effectively and are simply being pleasant. Casually throwing round concepts for future plans is simply one thing folks say within the second. Certain, some folks do it insincerely, however I’d wager that most individuals who say issues like this and by no means make it occur simply get busy with life and don’t make it a precedence. However the French particular person takes it actually as a result of in French tradition, if you happen to say one thing like that, you imply it and it’s not one thing you permit up within the air.
In the event you’ve met somebody who says one thing like this, take the lead and be the one to contact them to arrange concrete plans. That method you aren’t left questioning.
2. Saying “mm-hmm” or “uh-huh” for you’re welcome.
One thing you’ll hear in america as an alternative of “you’re welcome” is a “mm-hmm” or “uh-huh.” It’s often in response to a small favor like holding the door for somebody. We wouldn’t say “mm-hmmm” if somebody thanked us for saving their life, however for a small activity or favor, “mm-hmm” is a traditional reply. It’s form of like “no worries” or “yup, I’ve obtained it” or “no prob” and only a very informal method to say “you’re welcome.” It’s not impolite in any respect on this context.
However I’ve seen from my YouTube feedback once I mentioned this in a social norms video that French folks (and different nationalities) discover the American “mm-hmm” to be impolite, nearly such as you’re saying “in fact you’d higher be thanking me for serving to you.” However that’s not what it’s in any respect.
3. Asking foolish questions that reinforce stereotypes.
It’s one factor to be genuinely curious and ask respectful questions, but it surely’s one other factor fully to say issues like, “I heard the French eat snails and frogs. How will you eat one thing so disgusting?” or “Are you certain you’re French… you’re fats!” (I really heard this one in particular person and nearly did a spit take). You get the concept. Simply… no.
4. Making “jokes” like, ““You’d all be talking German if it wasn’t for us People.”
Are you aware what number of instances I’ve heard an American say some model of this or make reference to a white flag (of give up)? Too many to depend. I see it ALL the time on my YouTube channel and a member of the family even stated it to Tom as soon as years in the past, apparently all in good enjoyable. Besides it’s extraordinarily impolite, disrespectful, and gained’t be effectively acquired.
Cease with the World Battle II references. You and the particular person you’re speaking to most likely had zero private hand in WWII. All this does is reinforce French folks’s Ugly American stereotypes and we don’t want any extra of that.
5. Compliments that result in asking how a lot one thing price.
In some areas of the U.S., it’s fairly commonplace when out and about for folks to go with others they don’t know as a method of small speak. Individuals even ask the place a stranger may need purchased one thing and the way a lot it price. Whereas it would get beneath some People’ pores and skin too, the very fact is that it occurs. However not in France.
This type of factor happens fairly continuously once I’m in FL and I keep in mind a couple of cases of overly pleasant folks asking the place I purchased one thing when my dad and I visited Georgia and different southern states on a highway journey. These have been at all times folks I didn’t know. I used to be requested the place I purchased the bag I used to be carrying in addition to a bracelet. PEOPLE, USE GOOGLE FOR THAT!
Being advised by somebody that they favored my bag was good and appreciated however why not depart it there? Asking me how a lot it was made the scenario flip 5 shades of awkward actually quick. In France, exchange awkward with impolite. Small speak is a advantageous artwork in France, so save the extra private questions for folks you realize. The French draw a line between the private and non-private sphere and don’t cross it out of respect.
6. Making meals substitutions at a elaborate restaurant
Meals allergy symptoms apart, if you happen to’re consuming at a high-end French restaurant, order your dish with out making any substitutions. Meals substitutions that deviate from what’s written on the menu are accomplished method much less in France than within the U.S. Asking for the chef to organize your meal with out one of many key elements he/she selected simply since you don’t take care of it isn’t at all times doable or appreciated.
It comes throughout such as you’re saying, “I do know higher than you, skilled French chef who put effort and time into bringing the right flavors and textures to this dish. I don’t respect the meals the way in which you made it.”
Right here’s a private instance. I didn’t assume I favored capers however I went with it. After I tried them as an accent on an expertly ready dish at a Michelin-starred restaurant, they have been the right complement and scrumptious. One other instance is once I’ve seen vacationers, effectively heard them really, asking for his or her steak effectively accomplished at restaurant that may stay anonymous. The chef personally got here out to the desk to clarify how insulting it might be to overcook the meat. So belief the chef. The client shouldn’t be at all times proper!
Now let me make clear one factor. French cooks usually are not monsters. However they take pleasure of their work so it’s finest to respect that. In the event you’re consuming at an informal restaurant and a pizza comes with an egg, which is frequent, you may ask for it with out the egg, no drawback. Or a salad with out olives or one thing like that. That gained’t be a problem. I’m speaking about eating places which might be extra gastronomy targeted and every meal is a creation.
7. Beginning a dialog with out saying bonjour
This one will get you in sizzling water. All the time, ALWAYS say bonjour in France when approaching anybody for something, regardless of how small. Say it earlier than you say excuse me and undoubtedly earlier than you ask for instructions or ask a query. I’ve talked about this at size, so learn this submit on why bonjour is crucial phrase in France for extra context.
8. Taking pictures of issues with out asking.
In busy touristy areas, it’s solely regular to take pictures of stuff you see that curiosity you, together with folks. More often than not you gained’t have any points as vacationers (don’t {photograph} police/army) so go nuts taking pics of the Mona Lisa, the Eiffel Tower, and all the great things you see alongside the way in which.
However if you happen to’re in a much less crowded space on the road and even in a retailer or on the market, it’s a special story… sure, even in public. If you wish to take a photograph of an individual or one thing they’re promoting, the well mannered factor to do is to ask first. If the picture goes to be shared or used commercially, it goes past simply being well mannered. It’s really the regulation. Learn up on the droits à l’picture in France.
In the event you’re a vacationer, not asking gained’t get you arrested or something, however I’ve been scolded for taking a photograph of a vendor’s paella on the market with out asking first. In France, concentrate on the general public’s proper to privateness.
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What regular American habits would you add to my checklist of what the French may discover impolite? Keep tuned for the reverse submit of what French habits People discover impolite!
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