The opposite day whereas scrolling on social media, I noticed a submit from a lady seeking to join with individuals who have moved to France. She enthusiastically stated she is shifting to France as a result of she “simply loves all the things about it!” And that one easy phrase let me know she’s not prepared to maneuver to France. Right here’s why.
Perhaps you too are dreaming of shifting to France since you love all the things about it. I see this phrasing within the feedback of my very own content material (like on this submit and this one).
Perhaps you’re enchanted by the attractive locations, charmed by the structure, or satisfied that life in France is a unending montage of berets, baguettes, pastries, elegant individuals, and cobblestone streets.
And hey, I get it—France IS a phenomenal nation with lots to supply. There’s lots to love about France and I gained’t debate that. But when your motive for uprooting your life is that you just “love all the things about France,” I’m going to strongly recommend you hit pause and assume once more… not less than for now.
Right here’s the factor: France isn’t a utopia. It’s undoubtedly not a curated Instagram feed or a spot to flee to as a result of all the things is ideal on a regular basis. For a trip, perhaps, however if you wish to dwell right here, you want a actuality test. France is an actual place with its fair proportion of flaws. French individuals like to complain and can inform you all about them!
Once you transfer right here with unrealistic expectations, considering you’re entering into some type of European fairytale the place you possibly can play home, you’re setting your self up for disappointment.
>>>>>>In case you’re curious, listed here are 40 issues which may catch you off guard whenever you transfer to France in addition to a bunch of issues I did improper in addition to lots I did proper.<<<<<<<<<<
Let’s take into account a couple of issues:
1. France isn’t a utopia
France is many issues—stunning, culturally wealthy, and historic—however it isn’t Disneyland. Transferring to France since you assume it’s flawless is a recipe for disappointment. No nation is past reproach, and France is not any exception.
From paperwork that may make you wish to tear your hair out to cultural norms which may not align together with your values, there will likely be challenges and that’s simply the tip of the iceberg. Romanticizing France as an ideal vacation spot ignores the complexities of residing in an actual, functioning (and flawed) nation. You need to take the blinders off.
Again to Disneyland, though it’s “the happiest place on earth,” the strains will be lengthy, your favourite journey could be closed, and it rains generally. You may nonetheless love Disneyland and revel in it, but additionally maintain area for the truth that it’s not good both.
2. Unrealistic expectations result in heartache
Once you arrive in France anticipating solely picture-perfect café scenes and baguette-filled bliss, the much less glamorous realities of life right here will hit you exhausting.
A few of you studying this could be considering, “Come on Diane, nobody actually thinks France is ideal” however I guarantee you I see stuff like this on social media on a regular basis and get emails weekly from individuals with their head within the clouds. To that finish, try my commentary on this well-liked CNN article about an American couple who moved residence after a 12 months.
Right here’s the brief listing: Public strikes would possibly derail your plans. Shops closing on Sundays might frustrate you. French customer support would possibly really feel lower than accommodating. The language barrier would possibly hit you exhausting. Discovering someplace to dwell and establishing web service and getting a checking account can show difficult. And I might go on and on.
Generally it’s not even every separate factor that’s the largest problem however all the things lumped collectively into one large ball of stress and unease. Don’t underestimate how a lot which may have an effect on you… particularly whenever you’re coping with different troublesome features of life too like grief, well being points, monetary stress, relationship issues, and so forth.
If you happen to transfer right here considering France is all lavender fields and patisserie-lined streets, actuality goes rear its ugly head in the end. The wet winter in Paris (and really out the place I dwell too) will really feel much less poetic whenever you’re trudging via puddles, and your charming Provençal farmhouse would possibly include a hefty heating invoice and some resident mice.
Falling in love with France means appreciating each the highs and the lows.
The extra you’ve idealized France in your thoughts, the more durable it is going to be to return to phrases with the much less dreamy features. You’ll make it more durable on your self to adapt and combine.
On prime of that, even when all of the exterior components about France had been good, there are quite a lot of inside changes that must occur when shifting overseas anyplace. How your react to tradition shock, homesickness, getting used to residing in one other language, and a bunch of issues you possibly can’t anticipate forward of time all think about.
3. What does “loving all the things about France” actually imply?
Let’s step again. What does that truly imply? If you happen to actually love all the things, you haven’t completed sufficient analysis, or on the very least, haven’t skilled France’s much less charming sides… and I guarantee you that they exist.
Have you ever thought-about the monetary implications of shifting? Inheritance tax? Taxes generally? FATCA/FBAR reporting? The visa necessities? The prices? The cultural variations that would depart you feeling misplaced? It’s lots!
And what about all of the issues that French individuals complain about that don’t have anything to do with you being a foreigner. There are a bunch of issues French individuals don’t love about their very own nation and so they have benefit too.
Transferring to France isn’t the identical as being on trip in France. I inform you that lots as a result of it’s true. Residing someplace means dealing with ALL features of on a regular basis life, not simply the components on social media that we see via rose-tinted filters.
4. Above all, it’s about steadiness
Falling in love with France is fantastic, however it’s so necessary to steadiness your love with practicality. You study to like the professionals and settle for the cons on the similar time. I shout it from the rooftops that you need to analysis the not-so-glamorous sides of life in France.
Loving France doesn’t imply glossing over its imperfections or pretending there aren’t any; it means understanding and accepting them. I can’t stress that sufficient.
Make it your mission to examine expats’ and immigrants’ struggles with integration, the language barrier, loneliness, healthcare, and the well-known French paperwork… and that’s only for starters. Actually hearken to what they’re saying. It’s simple to dismiss somebody’s struggles as a result of we expect we all know higher, however will we if we’ve by no means walked of their footwear?
If somebody is simply presenting a one-sided rosy view of France, ask your self why.
Lastly, ask your self should you’re able to take care of these challenges—and if the reply is not any, that’s okay. It doesn’t imply you possibly can by no means transfer, however it does imply you’ll profit from extra preparation.
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There’s nothing improper with loving France—many people do! However loving it as an actual, advanced place is way extra sustainable than loving it as a fantasy (particularly should you plan on shifting right here!).
Do all the things in your energy to have real looking expectations as a result of it’ll make you higher outfitted to take care of the thrill and frustrations. By staying residence (for now), you’ll give your self time to do the work: analysis, soul search, and put together for the challenges forward.
France will nonetheless be right here whenever you’re able to find it irresistible for what it actually is: a vibrant, fascinating nation with magnificence and flaws, identical to anyplace else. When you possibly can say, “I’m shifting to France as a result of I’m ready for the nice, the dangerous, and the sudden and understand it’s the suitable alternative for me regardless of its flaws” you then’ll understand it’s time. 😉
Bonne likelihood! xx
P.S. Please let me know should you discover worth in these kind of posts. Through the years, I’ve written a ton about issues I really like about life right here however steadiness has at all times been necessary to me. There’s a lot content material on the market portray life in France with a really fluffy, dreamy, unrealistic brush and I strive my greatest to counter that with actual speak. I need you to LOVE your time in France and you may solely do this should you’re ready and know what to anticipate.
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