Life in France isn’t excellent—no place is—however there are some real upsides which have made my life lots much less irritating. I don’t sugarcoat issues round right here or paint France as some sort of utopia (spoiler: it’s not), however let me give credit score the place it’s due. Listed below are six issues I ended worrying about after shifting to France—and truthfully, it’s been a breath of recent air.
6 Issues I ended worrying about after shifting to France
I by no means was once a lot of a worrier. I nonetheless in all probability solely common a 5 or so on a fear scale of 1 to 10, however let me inform you, again within the day I not often Apprehensive with a capital W. Positive, issues would stress me out however nothing gave me main trigger for concern. I used to be perhaps a 3 out of 10 throughout the board.
However as we become old and expertise life, issues can get onerous. I’m glad nobody advised me that or it will have ruined my 20s. Life is hard and for me personally, members of the family’ most cancers diagnoses, grief, and demise have been the hardest for me the previous couple of years. I feel I dwell with extra fear today than I did a decade or two in the past.
P.S.: Please, if it will get worse as we become old, don’t inform me!
If we flip to dwelling overseas, there’s a whole lot of stress, fear, and doubt that comes with such an enormous life change. However as soon as we work by all of that, there’s a lot France has going for it. That’s to not say that the French lifestyle is all sunshine and rainbows, however there are a whole lot of issues which have been nice surprises.
Listed below are 6 issues I ended worrying about after shifting to France:
1. Random strangers carrying weapons
Let’s kick this off with a giant one. Within the U.S., particularly Florida (which is the place I spend probably the most time stateside because it’s the place my household lives), I all the time have this low-level unease about the truth that nearly anybody on the road could be carrying a firearm.
Hid carry is authorized in Florida.
I snapped a photograph of this signal at Neiman Marcus in S. Florida over the vacations.
A visit to the mall, a stroll within the park, or a pleasant dinner out are all honest sport. Weapons are so prevalent that shops, that are personal property, may have indicators that remind clients that weapons aren’t permitted on the premises. You’d by no means see that in France for apparent causes.
Individuals will be hotheaded and who is aware of what somebody may do in a confrontation or case of highway rage… and don’t even get me began about accidents the place the gun goes off unintentionally.
In France, gun legal guidelines are very completely different and extra regulated with no open/hid carry (though searching is authorized). There’s no “tradition” round firearms both.
Positive, France has its personal points, however the possibilities of somebody randomly packing warmth on the grocery retailer are slim to none. Gun possession is lengthy course of and requires a background verify, vary observe, and also you aren’t allowed to hold the weapon on you (not like some US states the place you don’t even want a license, registration or perhaps a allow to purchase a weapon), and also you’re unlikely to come across anybody with a firearm until they’re searching—or in regulation enforcement.
The outcome? For me personally, it’s a way of reduction.
Strolling by a crowded outside market or taking public transportation right here feels considerably safer, and that’s not one thing I take with no consideration. In France, it’s simply…not a factor. Weapons aren’t a part of day by day civilian life, and also you don’t hear about shootings almost as usually.
The absence of that fixed anxiousness about weapons is palpable for me. A narrative I by no means advised right here was when my dad and I had been on a highway journey and stayed in a single day at a resort in North Carolina off 95. At 6am, I assumed development was beginning early but it surely was semiautomatic weapon hearth proper exterior our window within the parking zone. It was apparently gang associated and a person was killed.
Anyway, sure, there’s crime right here in France too, together with terrorist assaults. Criminals sadly exist in every single place. Individuals can acquire weapons illegally in France too. General although, I really feel safer right here.
Additionally, I do know a few of you studying this may personal firearms and really feel in a different way than I do and that’s your proper. I feel we must always all be capable to dwell someplace that enables us to really feel protected, so to every his/her/their very own.
2. The expectation to continually be optimistic and pleasant
When you’re American, you realize what I imply. There’s this cultural expectation that it’s important to be cheerful and interesting on a regular basis. Smiling at strangers, making small speak, asking “How are you?” even once you don’t truly need a solution. Nobody likes a complainer!
However France isn’t like that in any respect. In reality, complaining in France is a little bit of a nationwide sport.
At first, I assumed French individuals had been sort of chilly. However they’re not impolite; they’re simply extra reserved. There’s no pretend enthusiasm, no compelled pleasantries. Friendships right here take longer to construct, however once they do, they really feel real. Conversations are actual, not simply social scripts all of us observe out of behavior.
And truthfully? It’s refreshing. I not really feel the stress to all the time be “on.” If I’m having a nasty day, I don’t should faux I’m nice simply to maintain up appearances. It’s okay to simply be.
Now that stated, you may discover some overly smiley, enthusiastic French individuals. They exist. Not everyone seems to be a giant complainer however there are undoubtedly cultural variations at play and you gained’t be advised to SMILE simply because. Amen!
Additionally, for the report, I feel I’m a pleasant one that at this stage of my life. I attempt to be fairly optimistic and see the brilliant aspect and am really grateful by all of it. However I DESPISE poisonous positivity and placing on an air of faux happiness on a regular basis simply to be palatable to others and seem nice. That’s not an issue in France!
P.S. The French are VERY socially well mannered.
Photograph credit score: Shutterstock.com / Phovoir
3. Healthcare bankrupting me
Let’s speak healthcare. Within the U.S., it’s a relentless supply of hysteria. Even with insurance coverage, I’d fear about deductibles, co-pays, and shock payments since you by no means knew in case your insurance coverage would pay and the way a lot. A easy physician’s go to might really feel like a monetary gamble.
Living proof: Again within the day, I had nice insurance coverage working for a giant firm and had allergy testing carried out. The physician despatched it to a lab that wasn’t in my community. I had no management over the place my lab work was despatched and didn’t even understand it was a query I wanted to ask. However I discovered immediately to the tune of $1800 that insurance coverage prices can catch you without warning… even with nice protection.
In France, healthcare is a human proper, not a privilege or a perk of working for a great employer. It’s not free—you and your employer pay into the system—but it surely’s reasonably priced and accessible. A go to to the physician prices about €30, and critical diseases and emergencies don’t break the bank so there’s no cause to delay in search of out medical care in case you’re unwell.
Higher but, costs are clearly displayed on the wall within the ready room so you realize the worth forward of time. The costs and reimbursements are the identical for everybody (supplementary insurance coverage, une mutuelle, is a further price although). Prescriptions don’t break the bank.
Behind the scenes at a French pharmacy >>
If one thing critical occurs, I do know I gained’t be drowning in debt for the remainder of my life. The system isn’t excellent, however there’s an underlying sense of safety that I’d by no means had earlier than.
4. Over-the-top tipping
Or fairly, the truth that it’s barely a factor in France. I wrote all about tipping in France right here and also you do NOT tip 15-20% at eating places.
Again within the states, tipping appears like a relentless math quiz. Did I depart sufficient? Was it an excessive amount of? Was the tip routinely included? It’s irritating.
In France, service employees truly earn a livable wage and whereas it’s not a well-paid job, it’s minimal wage or above and so they don’t rely on tricks to make a dwelling. Tipping is extra of a “rounding up” state of affairs or leaving a few euros for nice service.
And you realize what? The servers nonetheless get the job carried out and I not should overthink each restaurant invoice.
Since I moved to France, tipping appears to be gaining momentum, although. You’ll generally see the choice on bank card fee machines to depart a tip, but it surely’s not required and isn’t seen as a pretend pas to NOT depart a tip on the hair or nail salon or to your server.
Generally in touristy areas, you’ll get a really ahead waiter who rudely asks for a tip, comprehend it’s commonplace within the U.S., however that’s not the norm. Culturally, tipping hasn’t caught on right here throughout the board and that’s a great factor IMHO.
7 Issues France does higher than the U.S. >>
5. The stress to be productive
Within the U.S., your profession usually appears like the last word measure of your price. Lengthy hours, attempting to get that promotion, and all the time being obtainable are badges of honor in lots of workplaces. Resting or having a private life can really feel like slacking off. Don’t even get me began on how that ties in to job safety, since most jobs are at-will and don’t also have a contract.
In France, the work-life stability is sacred. It’s not only a cliché about lengthy lunches and 5 weeks of trip—it’s a basic a part of the tradition. All of this displays a broader perception that life is about greater than work and that we work to dwell, not the opposite method round.
One of many largest mindset shifts I’ve skilled since shifting to France is that this: Your worth as an individual isn’t measured by how a lot you’re employed.
Within the U.S., working your self to the bone is nearly a badge of honor. Being “busy” is equated with being vital. Taking break day? Usually seen as laziness. Even holidays include guilt—what number of instances have we heard somebody say, “I really want a break, however work is simply too loopy proper now!”
In France, relaxation isn’t one thing you “earn”—it’s one thing you’re entitled to. Individuals take their holidays critically. A piece-life stability truly exists. Even in high-pressure jobs, there’s an understanding that life comes first.
I’ve unlearned the concept my productiveness defines my worth, and I can’t even start to explain how releasing that’s.
Work-life stability is revered right here in a method that feels…refreshing. Once I first acquired right here, I used to be shocked that shops would shut early or on Sundays. Now, I really like that folks prioritize their private lives over being continually “on.”
French meals market with tomatoes, herbs, beans, and chalkboard signal
6. Meals high quality and the unhealthy components which might be commonplace within the U.S.
Within the U.S., ultra-processed meals are in every single place. Even seemingly easy objects like bread, ice cream, and yogurt can comprise a protracted record of preservatives, synthetic colours and flavors, and components—a lot of that are banned in different nations, together with France. The U.S. permits the usage of components like rBGH or rBST (a genetically modified progress hormone) in dairy, brominated vegetable oil (BVO) in sodas, and sure synthetic dyes which have been linked to well being issues.
To distinction that with France, the EU as a complete has a lot stricter laws on what can and can’t be utilized in meals merchandise. To provide you an instance, BVO in sodas which I discussed above was banned in the entire EU in 2008.
Past simply avoiding dangerous components, meals in France is mostly more energizing. Supermarkets have shorter shelf lives on dairy and baked items as a result of they don’t depend on the identical degree of chemical preservatives. Farmers’ markets nationwide, even in small cities, are in every single place and ingrained within the tradition.
French markets aren’t simply enjoyable points of interest to go to on the weekends on occasion right here or there like they are often within the U.S. They’re in every single place in France and a staple of French life. Many individuals depend on them for all their produce, meat, cheese, and many others. At French farmers’ markets, a lot of the recent produce and different meals merchandise is grown domestically and there’s an abundance of seasonal produce that really tastes like what it’s alleged to. Strawberry season is true across the nook and I can’t wait!
In fact, processed meals exist in France, too, and the French are big shoppers of McDonald’s. Not the whole lot in France is routinely “wholesome.”
You will discover industrial processed meals, junk meals, and quick meals.
In a 5-minute radius from my home, I can go to KFC, Burger King, Fast, McDonald’s, and Domino’s, plus a bunch of native quick meals chains. All of that exists in France too.
General, I don’t really feel like I’ve to scrutinize each label or fear that my on a regular basis groceries are full of questionable chemical compounds. The laws prioritize meals high quality and security in a method that makes me really feel extra comfy about what I’m consuming.
And truthfully? Meals simply tastes higher in France and I really like that.
I additionally need to level out that not all meals is horrible within the U.S. That’s not the takeaway right here. Many grocery shops have lovely produce within the U.S., too. You may completely get high quality meals, however there’s a degree of privilege there that you simply 1) have the schooling to know what’s good high quality and what’s not and a couple of) you’ve got the power to hunt it out, you’re not in a meals desert with out entry to a automobile, and three) you possibly can afford to go to higher-end grocery shops.
Lots of people don’t anticipate dangerous components to be of their meals and also you don’t know what you don’t know. The distinction in France is that the general meals high quality is healthier throughout the board as a result of the components we permit within the U.S. are banned in France.
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Dwelling in France isn’t all easy crusing, although. I did a whole lot of issues fallacious (and proper). There are challenges, frustrations, and moments the place I miss the familiarity of life within the U.S.–and that by no means goes away.
Stepping away from my previous life helped me shed some pointless worries and undertake a extra balanced strategy to dwelling. And I all the time look ahead to my journeys again to go to.
When you’re occupied with shifting overseas, know that it’s not a magical escape from all of your issues. However it could actually open your eyes to alternative ways of dwelling and hopefully make you a greater human within the course of. General, I’m happier in France.
What are the stuff you’d like to cease worrying about? Let me know within the feedback under!
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