{Photograph} by Sarah Miller.
My toilet is ugly. My toilet is so ugly that once I inform folks my toilet is ugly and so they say it could possibly’t be that ugly I at all times like to indicate it to them. Then they arrive into my toilet and they’re like, Holy shit. This toilet is so ugly. And I say, I do know, I advised you.
Let me checklist the weather of my ugly toilet: the sink has plastic handles and it’s unattainable to scrub behind the tap. Or, you may clear behind it nevertheless it’s troublesome, so it’s at all times dirty. The sink itself, the basin, is product of some kind of plastic materials that in all probability was once white and is now off-white.
The water stress within the sink is nearly nonexistent. I’m undecided if this has something to do with the sink itself however when your toilet appears like this you don’t assume, Oh wow, I actually need to enhance the water stress, as a result of dangerous water stress goes with the decor.
The textured ceiling appears like a birthday cake that was frosted with canned white frosting by an individual who hates whoever’s birthday it’s.
The bathe is possibly the worst a part of the toilet. When folks come to go to us we’ve to inform them that the bathe is disgusting and even then they can not handle to recollect to not look crestfallen after they see it. It too has pretty poor water stress and is admittedly tiny and the within of it’s cracked and the cabinets in it are too small to suit bottles of shampoo and they’re at all times falling down when you’re having a shower and you probably have your eyes closed you assume you might be being attacked.
The ground is linoleum and cracked throughout the perimeters.
I’ve ignored crucial element which is that this toilet has redwood paneling that goes as much as about 4 ft after which the remainder of the toilet is painted the identical colour because the ceiling. One tiny window appears out onto nothing. The curtain on it’s the similar curtain that was right here after we used to hire this place. We lived right here for a very long time earlier than we bought it from the homeowners. It’s a type of two-part curtains that has a small shade throughout the highest of the window and a smaller one which hangs under it. I can’t even inform you what it appears like, which ought to embarrass me, however I’m at all times too drained to consider it.
I’m glad that it’s there as a result of we used to stay subsequent door to this actual asshole and I didn’t need him to see me bare for my sake, and we’re about to stay subsequent door to some good folks and I don’t need them to see me bare both for his or her sakes.
We’ve got a brand new kitchen. I’m not going to take a seat right here and lie and inform you that I don’t actually love our new kitchen. Once I was rising up my mother and father by no means redid our kitchen. It wasn’t a really environment friendly area for cooking or hanging out in. It was annoying. I used to be like, You guys each have jobs, let’s repair up the rattling kitchen.
I like having an attractive kitchen that’s very easy to prepare dinner in. I respect the unique placement of tiles that my companion did, which I consulted on, and I like how the rubbish can pulls out from below the counter and you may simply sweep scraps into it, and I like having a dishwasher, which I’ve by no means had as an grownup till just some months in the past and which has modified my life. So I don’t need to say I don’t benefit from consolation and sweetness. However I need my shitty toilet to remain the way in which it’s.
I get so sick of everybody pondering that all the things they use must be good. Can’t some stuff simply be crappy? Why do we’ve to do away with completely useful stuff simply so that each nook of our imaginative and prescient can twinkle with magic and risk?
I don’t assume having an unpleasant toilet makes me a very good particular person. It simply makes me somebody who is ready to really feel satisfaction with one particular place that’s removed from good.
There’s a lot that I need. A few of it might make folks assume I’m shallow and self-serving, and a few of it might make folks assume I’m deep and caring and stuffed with determined hope. My bathtub is good within the sense that it’s giant and porcelain. It’s the toilet’s finest function. When I’m on this tub I can fake that I don’t need something in any respect, that I’m completely glad. If the toilet had been good, I’d begin desirous about all of the issues that aren’t. This sounds absurd, however as a really tense particular person, I do know precisely what situations can calm down me. It’s obligatory for me to guard these situations. I wouldn’t have a very good job proper now, so there isn’t any current hazard of the toilet being renovated. However I might be vigilant when there’s.
Sarah Miller is a author who lives in California. She writes a Substack.
