This isn’t a submit that’s going to reply that query with a rose-colored glasses sort of reply like, “No, life in France is even BETTER than it appears to be like” and go on to checklist off a bunch of clichés about life right here which are largely unhelpful. I can do higher than that and also you deserve a extra considerate reply. The reply I’m going to provide you isn’t so black and white although, so let’s speak…
When you’ve spent any time scrolling by means of Instagram or YouTube, you’ve in all probability seen dreamy photographs of life in France. I do know I’ve! You recognize those — golden sunsets over vineyard-dotted hills, contemporary baguettes below somebody’s arm, and completely stylish café moments with individuals who look so completely coiffed that you simply’re certain they only stepped out of {a magazine} shoot.
It’s simple to suppose, “Wow, life there have to be good.” And perhaps trip is… however is actual life in France nearly as good because it appears to be like?
The trustworthy reply is: typically sure and typically no. And it relies upon way more on YOU than on the situation itself.
The fundamentals matter in all places
Earlier than we even get to France, it’s value saying: life is best wherever in case your primary wants are met. In case you have shelter, meals, security, good relationships, and a objective/approach to maintain your self, you’ve the foundations for a superb life.
With out these, even essentially the most lovely place can really feel like hell. And with these, even a much less Instagrammable spot can really feel stuffed with potential. Add in some free time the place you aren’t working 24/7, a wholesome physique and thoughts, and a few cash and also you’ve obtained it made.
Now turning to France particularly, I’d be remiss if I didn’t begin off by saying it has loads going for it. Medical health insurance for all (that’s not job dependent) — so no going bankrupt in case you have an accident, an incredible work-life stability — howdy 5 weeks of paid trip for all staff, superb meals and wine and structure and historical past…. I may go on all day. However learn this submit for extra on that entrance.
France isn’t a shortcut to happiness
Positive, there are apparent perks — beautiful structure, a wealthy tradition, unbelievable meals, and a sure rhythm to life that feels slower and extra deliberate than in lots of different international locations.
However right here’s the fact for 99% of us: Individuals who love life in France have typically put within the time to get to that time. They don’t simply arrive, unpack, and await the magic to occur round them simply because they’re in France. And should you suppose you like “all the pieces about France,” you’re not prepared to maneuver right here.
Yeah, having healthcare is nice and seeing the postcard-worthy sights is magical, however as soon as the honeymoon interval wears off, it’s time to place within the work.
Life in France is simply common life after some time with all of the stresses and joys that include it.
These of us who find yourself thriving overseas:
* Be taught the language (and preserve making an attempt, even when it’s onerous)
* Make an effort to kind actual friendships and social connections
* Take time to know French customs, be inquisitive about life right here, and adapt
* Settle for that issues work in another way in France and select to embrace that, not combat it
All of that takes persistence, humility, and persistence.
P.S. Individuals majorly underestimate what a complete life change entails.
Why social media provides us a skewed image
If we solely judged France by what the algorithm exhibits us with out digging any deeper, we’d suppose France was some sort of paradise the place everybody who comes right here finally ends up dwelling a fairytale life.
Spoiler: It’s not. France isn’t good.
Additionally, there’s a pure bias to what we’re proven on-line. Individuals who aren’t glad in France aren’t creating whole YouTube channels or blogs about their unhappiness or how a lot they hate their life. If they’re, their content material is much less more likely to go viral as a result of audiences choose optimistic, uplifting tales (though each time I speak about errors I’ve made, it’ll get 10x extra views than what I did proper).
I’ve additionally discovered that if you speak about lower than nice issues, individuals like to blame the sufferer and choose. The truth is, I simply heard Matthew McConaughey say on the ten% Happier podcast with Dan Harris one thing like society likes to hammer the man who missed the shot as a substitute of praising the man who made the shot and it’s so true. As creators, it’s simply simpler to deal with the nice issues so that you’re not setting your self as much as be hammered.
Meaning our feeds are full of individuals telling us how nice life in France is. And sure, a lot of it’s optimistic. I’m responsible of it. I’ve written a ton of optimistic posts praising France through the years like sudden optimistic surprises, the greatest issues about dwelling right here, endearing French habits, and the France I really like.
All if that’s 100% true, however it’s not the entire image, though it’s simple to make it look that manner on-line. Social media is a spotlight reel the place we present what we need to present.
To offer you some examples of the lower than good stuff:
My worst ever expertise in France was in a grocery retailer when the supervisor put his arms on me. I’ve had appointments with medical doctors who’ve left me in tears. Tom’s been mugged at knifepoint greater than as soon as in his life (in touristy seashore cities). Our subsequent door neighbor’s home was damaged into whereas they had been house and a pair up the road had their dust bikes stolen out of their yard once they had been on trip by drug traffickers who wished to have some enjoyable.
I may go on…. Now, is that this “the norm” in France? No, however dangerous issues can occur right here too. Even should you reside in a “good” space.
One thing else I’ve talked about many occasions is that if you expertise a serious life problem that you might face wherever, it will possibly really feel even heavier if you reside overseas and aren’t surrounded by the individuals, programs, and methods of life you grew up with. Add in tradition shock, a language barrier, and many others. and it’s even more durable. A kind of moments for me was when my mother died.
Additionally, again to on-line content material. Be additional cautious of recommendation coming from content material creators (not skilled attorneys, insurance coverage consultants, and many others.) who’ve a monetary curiosity in your transfer. What are their credentials? Are they promoting a visa service or transfer overseas course? Simply watch out and do your analysis.
Anyway, simply know there are individuals who wrestle to seek out their place, doubt their transfer, don’t study French, really feel lonely, or by no means fairly adapt — they usually’re dwelling in the identical postcard-perfect cities because the individuals who submit each day about how a lot they find it irresistible.
I personally LOVE New York Metropolis. It’s my favourite metropolis on the planet. I went to varsity there and have a 9/11 trauma bond of types. However I do know many individuals on the market HATE New York Metropolis. It’s the identical wherever.
Then there’s an enormous majority of individuals someplace in between the 2 extremes simply dwelling life and having fun with the nice whereas not specializing in the dangerous.
Wherever you go, there you’re
Certainly one of my favourite sayings applies right here: Wherever you go, there you’re. (Oh, and the grass is greener the place you water it. And rattling, writing that made me look out to my yard that I must mow as we speak, which is my least favourite chore. Ship assist!).
When you’re sad with your self, shifting to France gained’t erase that. You may get a short lived increase from the thrill of a brand new place, however ultimately, your previous patterns, insecurities, and habits will meet up with you.
Exterior elements just like the local weather, surroundings, tradition, price of dwelling, and short-term pleasure could make life higher, however they will’t make you higher.
The most effective model of you is the model that ought to transfer
If you wish to get pleasure from life in France (or wherever), essentially the most highly effective factor you are able to do is figure on your self first.
* Construct your confidence
* Domesticate resilience
* Work in your weaknesses
* Learn to discover pleasure in on a regular basis moments
* Develop wholesome routines and relationships
* Strengthen your physique and thoughts
When you arrive in France already grounded in who you’re and what you possibly can supply the world, you’re extra more likely to navigate the inevitable challenges of expat life with grace — and to completely benefit from the components that really are nearly as good as they give the impression of being.
So… is life in France nearly as good because it appears to be like?
Let’s get again to the title query of this submit. For me, the reply is sure — most days. However not as a result of France is a few magical place the place life is mechanically good. Not due to the healthcare or the surroundings or the meals or the individuals.
It’s as a result of I’ve put within the effort to combine, to study, and to develop right here. France provides an unbelievable backdrop for a superb life… like many locations world wide. However the actual magic that makes it “nearly as good because it appears to be like” comes from the particular person dwelling it.
And that half? Nicely, that’s on you.
