BMW of Mountain View Geniuses, “Tour the 2023 M4 Competitors xDrive Convertible in Alpine White | 4K.”
I’m not solely a horrible driver but additionally a really assured one. I’ve by no means owned a automobile. I shouldn’t. But I’ve received an unaccountable and unyielding want for a car I’m undecided I’ve ever even seen. I would like—have at all times needed, with an impractical seriousness that astounds me—an Alpine White BMW M4 two-seater convertible with a perforated Fiona Pink leather-based inside.
I can’t assist myself. I wish to get inside one so unhealthy, and I wish to trip it so gradual, and I wish to trip it quick, and I wish to really feel my toes thrill at being suspended solely 120 mm above floor, at the specter of my toes being shredded into pavement. I wish to park it and really feel the brutal throb of my revving. I wish to really feel the automobile’s restraint, for to drive it in any respect is to tame it—it’s to really feel 503 horses latent within the softest contact of gasoline.
Different vehicles can go quicker. However these different vehicles appear like small males who’ve taken too a lot testosterone. They don’t come outfitted with the M4’s elegant and low-sloping front-fender curvature. They don’t have the identical smooth steel-plated jaw directing the attention to the higher cusp of every tire. They’re too souped-up. They’re automobiles with aerodynamics. My M4 is aerodynamism.
As for the colour scheme: why the white exterior and purple inside? I don’t know. Japan? Peru? Sweet cane? Mint? Recent! Magnificence!
Whereas I dismiss different sports activities vehicles, I do know that different automobiles—customary, medium-speed ones—have their enchantment. They’ve their romance. I’ve skilled such issues—I even went as far as to lose half my virginity behind a Jeep (a Wrangler befit with a busted passenger facet door, a trunk filled with previous medical tools, a sagging left-side tire, and a battery susceptible to failure, so inclined actually that one evening it failed within the vacant car parking zone of an Armenian church, which, by the way, was when and the place the partial deflowering occurred, anyway). I might have developed hatchback attachments. Or gotten into salvaged vehicles—my great-grandfather ran a used-car junkyard, by which my grandfather and later my father paraded, climbing over engines, retrofitting fenders.
However all of that’s behind me. Now I simply need this one good, good factor. Irrespective of I’ve by no means seen one, irrespective of I’ll by no means afford one, irrespective of I ought to by no means drive one. I do know you now, and possibly you realize somebody, who possibly presumably is aware of somebody, who presumably is aware of or has heard of somebody, who doesn’t need to let me drive their lovely specimen, however who on the very least can take me for a trip.
Sophie Madeline Dess’s debut novel, Lifeless Heart, shall be printed by Penguin Press in 2025. Her story “Zalmanovs” seems in problem no. 242 of the Assessment.
