After I first moved to France, I anticipated to study concerning the tradition, the language, historical past, and possibly a bit of about cheese and wine, in fact. However what I didn’t count on was that France would slowly — and generally stubbornly — educate me about one thing greater: find out how to take pleasure in life.
And never within the curated Instagram approach. Not within the “sip rosé by the Eiffel Tower” clichéd form of approach. However in a approach that seeps into how you reside, day after day, till it begins to really feel pure and turns into a part of who you might be.
As I’ve gotten older and skilled extra of life’s ups and downs, being grateful for all the positives has turn into much more essential to me. I hunt down peace and calm and attempt to discover methods each day to benefit from the present second. In any other case, the downs might be all-consuming.
Right here’s what I’ve discovered about life from the French and why it issues:
1. Small moments matter as a lot as large ones
In my first 12 months right here, I seen how folks round me took satisfaction in taking an actual pause to take pleasure in easy issues… a espresso break at work, a easy meal, a Sunday stroll within the park. Not whereas scrolling on their telephones or multitasking however truly having fun with the second.
It wasn’t about making it an occasion or a photograph op. It was about giving a small pocket of time their full consideration. That was missing in my life.
Now, I discover these little pauses in every single place and take many myself: a neighbor leaning out the window to speak with a buddy on the street, the baker dusting a baguette with care, households lingering on park benches after college, and other people simply taking time to take pleasure in these little moments.
It’s not that you simply couldn’t carve out these moments for your self again within the US — you may! — it’s simply that societal norms in France make it approach simpler right here. The tempo of life is slower… folks don’t dwell to work… folks have break day, and so on.
2. Tempo your self even when speeding has turn into your norm
Earlier than France, I used to be an over-scheduler. If I had 15 free minutes, I’d fill them. If I completed work early, I’d begin one other mission. If I had downtime, I’d be attempting to maximise it.
However doesn’t life transfer quick sufficient by itself? Why the heck are we attempting to hurry issues much more?
The French strategy — at the very least outdoors the largest cities so far as I’ve noticed — is slower, and never in a lazy approach. There’s an understanding that life isn’t meant to be a continuing dash. Trains come once they come. Retailers shut for lunch or a number of weeks of vacay in the summertime. Dinner would possibly final hours. You deal with one factor.
It was irritating at first. However over time, I noticed that slowing down wasn’t losing time — it was proudly owning my time.
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3. Meals is connection
Sure, French meals is scrumptious. However what actually struck me was that meals aren’t nearly consuming — they’re about sharing. They’re an occasion in and of themselves. I wrote a complete submit that goes into extra depth about my favourite French meals behavior.
Even weekday lunches on the workplace are handled like a real pause, not a pit cease the place you rush again to work.
At work within the US, I’d usually eat lunch at my desk. In France, I discovered that even a easy salad or sandwich might be elevated if you take the time to take a seat down, discuss, and really style it. Good firm helps! So does wine. 😉
I’ve carried that dwelling with me: eat slowly, share usually, and benefit from the second.
4. Defend your free time
In France, folks fiercely guard their weekends, evenings, and holidays. Work-life steadiness isn’t only a buzzword — it’s enforced culturally and legally.
Again within the day, I used to really feel responsible for not answering emails outdoors work hours, like I used to be slacking or letting coworkers down. Right here, I’ve discovered that having boundaries isn’t slacking — it’s respecting your self sufficient so you’ll be able to truly take pleasure in life outdoors of labor. Turning that a part of my mind off feels so good.
It’s not all the time simple, however I now see my free time as one thing to defend, not one thing to fill with “only one thing more.”
5. You don’t want a purpose to rejoice
That is certainly one of my favourite French habits that was all the time part of me however has now come out a bit of extra. Do it JUST BECAUSE. Opening a very good bottle of wine simply because it’s Wednesday. Shopping for flowers for your self. Going to see dwell music on a random evening. I like celebrating the little issues and am glad it appears to be what French folks do too because it’s so aligned with how I wish to dwell.
Though within the US, I appreciated celebrating each time, however I’d usually save the good things for birthdays or holidays. That’s one behavior I’m getting higher at. I take advantage of the great plates and napkins simply because. I open the particular wine as a result of I really feel prefer it.
Life is brief, and it’s price making small celebrations a part of my on a regular basis life.
6. Having fun with life is a course of
I believe the largest shock was realizing that “having fun with life” isn’t one thing you magically have should you transfer to a gorgeous place — it’s one thing it’s important to apply.
The French aren’t continuously blissful. They’ve dangerous days, stress, and struggles like anybody else. However additionally they have cultural habits that make pleasure extra accessible — they usually use them.
It’s taught me that I can construct my very own model of that, wherever I dwell, by being intentional about how I spend my time and what I give my consideration to.
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The French didn’t hand me a handbook on find out how to take pleasure in life. What they did give me — by commentary, immersion, and loads of trial and error — is a deeper appreciation for presence, boundaries, and savoring the odd.
You don’t should dwell in France to study this stuff. You are able to do it wherever. However dwelling right here gave me the house to see them extra clearly.
Possibly that’s the largest lesson of all: you’ll be able to take pleasure in life extra totally should you give your self permission to do precisely that.
