Possibly you’ve seen this viral Tiktok video making the rounds from a girl named Angela (@realphdfoodie) who just lately visited Lyon over the vacations as a solo traveler. She had a foul expertise in France and persons are riled up… a lot in order that it even made French information.
@realphdfoodie Solo touring in France is such an isolating expertise. Don’t advocate for solo vacationers and individuals who don’t communicate French. #france #lyon #lyonfrance🇫🇷 #lyonfrance #solotraveler #solofemaletraveler #solotravelwoman #frenchculture #frenchcultureshock #fyp #fypシ ♬ unique sound – RealPhDFoodie
Angela says France made her cry and that “individuals make you are feeling dangerous for not realizing their tradition or not talking their language.”
Ouch.
She goes on to clarify that individuals within the metropolis appeared detached to her. Angela mentioned she didn’t have these sorts of issues socializing with locals throughout her journeys to Italy and Germany. She did her finest to communicate what little French she knew, however nonetheless, she didn’t have an amazing expertise.
And she or he’s not alone.
Is it actually that stunning (or newsworthy) that somebody had a foul expertise in France?
In case you have a look at my latest YouTube movies about what Individuals discover impolite concerning the French and vice versa, you’ll see the feedback part is flooded with Individuals satisfied that the French are the rudest individuals on the planet.
However in case you hold round in Francophile teams and blogs that primarily entice individuals in love with all issues French, you’ll get a really completely different — and stunning — response (maintain studying, I discuss it beneath). I noticed it as soon as once more once I shared Angela’s expertise by way of this Enterprise Insider article simply now on my FB web page.
When somebody speaks as much as share their dangerous expertise or to share one thing important about France, individuals appear to get very defensive.
It’s the strangest factor.
As an alternative of listening to what the particular person is saying, individuals go off the deep finish.
I really feel like the subject of France/French individuals is unnecessarily polarizing. I imply, aren’t there extra vital issues on the planet to get this fired up about?
You get individuals who fall into 3 classes:
1) Individuals who love France and French individuals unconditionally and consider that life here’s a paradise. All French persons are all pretty and sort on a regular basis. France can do no flawed.
2) Individuals who despise France and the French and the very point out of it evokes main disgust and even hatred (as I mentioned, try the YT feedback for good examples). It doesn’t matter what you say or do, they won’t pay attention and so they hate France and would by no means go (or return).
3) Individuals who fall in someplace the center. These of us who’re extra sensible in our pondering and might recognize France and the French whereas additionally acknowledging the nuance inherent in a lot of these conversations.
I vibe with the individuals who fall into group three. You with me?
However individuals in group one — and there are MANY of them — appear to take any critique about France — regardless of how legitimate — personally. It’s like they consider France as a human good friend that we’ve simply offended that they should defend.
What normally follows is the particular person blaming the person who spoke up with one thing impolite like, “Oh, it should’ve been your fault as a result of I’ve solely had nice experiences,” as if dangerous experiences don’t exist or they solely occur to dangerous vacationers. In fact they exist. Typically it’s our fault, and typically the individuals we encounter are having a foul day themselves, and typically it’s simply the luck of our circumstances.
Simply since you’ve had solely nice experiences in France doesn’t imply that dangerous experiences don’t exist. You haven’t spent sufficient time right here if that’s the case.
How do I do know? As a result of I’ve lived in France since 2012 and it’s an actual place, with actual individuals and issues. It’s common life right here and the issues you may have at dwelling occur right here too. We’re all human. Nowhere is ideal. Good individuals can typically be impolite or detached. A trip in France isn’t the identical as residing right here.
I instructed you I hated France the primary time I visited. We have been spit on. I’ve had many dangerous experiences through the years. And guess what? If I used to be nonetheless in NYC, I’m certain I’d have had some dangerous experiences sprinkled in as properly. That’s life.
I really feel for Angela, I do.
As somebody who doesn’t take pleasure in touring solo, I do know what Angela means about feeling remoted and I’m sorry she had such a foul expertise in Lyon. I consider her account. France is not simple by any means, so it doesn’t shock me.
On the similar time, she was there over the vacations. Persons are busy with household and touring themselves so not everybody is obtainable and meet up apps are unusually quiet.
Additionally, I feel it’s fairly regular to really feel remoted in a rustic in case you don’t communicate the language. Most French individuals (outdoors of the tourism business) do NOT communicate fluent English. It could be equally isolating for a French particular person touring within the U.S. and never talking a phrase of English past hi there. There’s a serious communication barrier.
Add to that different unlucky circumstances and I completely perceive how that would have an effect on one’s notion of a spot and them by no means desirous to return.
Anyway, Angela was clearly emotional and I needed to offer her a hug. I really feel like the shortage of empathy makes individuals not wish to communicate up once they have a foul expertise. That’s why we’ve got all these wonderful tales and blogs and content material about how nice France is on a regular basis as a result of individuals get shamed and blamed and judged once they have a distinct expertise. In order that they shut up. It skews the fact and makes individuals assume France is a utopia.
Consider me, I wouldn’t be residing in France if I didn’t take pleasure in life right here, however as I all the time say, it’s not a paradise.
Angela, I hope you’ll give France one other strive…
